So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
