man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
