How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
