Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
