Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
