I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
