Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
