glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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