I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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