Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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