this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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