if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
