Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
