What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
