oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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