i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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