Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
