I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
