At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You may now shotgun with the bride
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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