i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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