Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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