covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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