That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
