What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
