I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My vagina just clenched in fear
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize