I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
