Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
