We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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