I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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