billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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