at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
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