it wasn't lemon gatorade
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
