im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
