Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
