And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
