mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just had sex on a roof
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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