vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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