I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
