so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
