rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize