please come you make the beer taste better
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
