Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
