Why are handjobs necessary in class?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize