Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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