someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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