if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
