dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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