We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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