there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
