R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
