escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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