He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
