i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
