The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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