There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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