I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish ðŸ€
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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