"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
