I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
