noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
