Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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