he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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