so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
