Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
