Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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