I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
