woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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