I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
that may or may not have been my penis.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
