i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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