5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
